I don’t judge parents

Why it should be normal to speak to professionals like me.

Parenting is hard, there’s no denying it, especially in the 21st Century.

There’s the technology to worry about, there’s the social media, there’s the big wide world outside and there’s the attitude…

Things are certainly different than when you or I grew up and the way you parent your children is completely different to even ten years ago.  But that’s alright, ‘cos they came with a manual right?

What they didn’t?  So how are you raising your kids?

 

Oh you’re making it up as you go along and doing your best.

You are doing your best and sometimes (not for all of you) your best isn’t good enough, sometimes you don’t have the experience to know what decision is the best.

  • Do I send them to state or private school?
  • How do I deal with the tantrums?
  • Am I doing the right thing?
  • Am I the only one having to deal with nightmare bedtimes?
  • They just won’t follow my rules, what do I do?
  • How, oh how, do I stop the attitude?

 

There is a problem in our society, you are seen as a bad parent if you talk to people like me.  I am a teacher, I have a degree, a masters, I’ve written books and assessments for children, you could almost call me an expert, but still I work with many families who wouldn’t dare tell other people they’re working with me.

Just the same as when you wanted a mortgage you saw a financial adviser, if you appeared in the media you spoke to an agent, or you used a business coach as your business grew, when parents want help with helping their children to be successful and happy they talk to people like me.  We’re just as normal as everyone else, we have families (I don’t have children but would love them), we eat, sleep, cry just the same as everyone else.  But society looks down on the parents who ask for help and guidance, why don’t they with people who see financial advisers?

True, there are people out there who dictate to parents and tell them every little step they should do, but then there are people like me, who enjoy listening to parents, learning about their children, understanding what’s causing the difficulties and suggesting things that would help make their family happier.

And that’s where society needs to change.  Talking to people like me should be a normal everyday act for parents who are trying to do your best for your child.  And there is nothing to be ashamed of in doing that.  With children you can’t refer to the manual and say you’ve missed step 47.

What’s the worst that could happen?  There isn’t a score sheet for judging parents, so that’s not going to happen.

Maybe there’s something you’ve done that’s caused it? Unlikely, there’s thousands of variables, you are only one of them, where people like me help is to say “this is where you are, this will help you to get out of it.”

What if you can’t do anything to help? There isn’t such a thing as a dead end situation when it comes to your child, there’s always a way forward.  Professionals who are worth their salt offer a guarantee, I call mine a No Plan, No Fee Guarantee, if you are working with me and we don’t come up with a plan to help you then you don’t pay anything, nothing, not a penny.

It’s important that seeking help as parents is seen by society as a normal every day act, not something to be ridiculed or to feel ashamed about.  It should be seen as something that helps children and brings families together.

 

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